Hospital Pics

One of the favorites--Playing in the window!

Getting ready to go for a ride with Momma in the "black stroller"

Taking care of business

And...finally...disregarding the fact that I really look...well...not so very good, a belly shot.
28 weeks!
(Hospital bedrest doesn't coordinate with the beauty regimen)

28 Weeks

28 Weeks! 28 Weeks! 28 Weeks!

It's time to celebrate. I'm 28 weeks! Why so excited?...because 28 weeks is a HUGE milestone. We've moved from out of those weeks of "extreme premature" to "very premature"...no longer a *micro-preemie*. So here we are...28 weeks...safer, but not satisfied. We want more! More weeks! More weeks! More weeks!

Consider these numbers
Weeks Pregnant: 28
Current Survival Statistics: 90-95%
Days Hospitalized: 25
Days on Bedrest: 101
Days Until Full Term (37 weeks): 63
Days Until Goal #1 (30wks): 13
May 1: 30 weeks
June 1-18: If early delivery is imminent, days I would be satisfied to deliver
June 19: Full term! (37wks)
July 1: The date Dr. G is planning to deliver if I'm still pregnant then. All I have to say about that is he and I are going to have to have a long talk about that. After all I've been through I'm thinking 37 weeks is good enough.

Weeks Pregnant: 28 weeks!

Weeks to Go: 2 weeks till 30 weeks, 4 weeks till 32, 6 weeks till 34, 8 weeks till 36

Gender: Boy...Evan Alexander Stanfill

Baby Statistics: Nearly two weeks ago we went to the perinatologist and our little guy weighed 1 pound 12 ounces. I'm expecting/hoping he will be at least 2 pounds at our next ultrasound on Tuesday.

Movement: Busy, busy, busy!

Momma's Ever-Changing Body: I feel huge. It feels like I've grown so much over the last week or so. I showed no weight gain at my last weight-check this past Monday. I'm laying flat most of the time with short times of incline so I can eat. Many hours of the day I spend with my bottom end up and head down to keep as much pressure off the cervix as possible. My back hurts sometimes and positioning is becoming increasingly difficult. I've been given wheelchair privileges and so far I've been taking advantage of the "freedom" about 3 days a week. I take a quick shower every other day. (And here's my whine: my legs are in desperate need of a razor, my hair looks and feels like it's in a constant state of bed-head...bedrest doesn't feel beautiful...which is one reason why I hope to make it far enough along to be released from bedrest so I can have a day of pampering...a girl has to look good for the birth of her baby doesn't she?)

Belly Button/Stretch Marks: Flatty, Yes

Food Cravings: No cravings. In fact eating has been a challenge for me (too bad that doesn't happen more often). After getting sick earlier this week with what could have been food poisoning I'm extremely leery about everything I eat/how it tastes/etc. Being sick like that was awful and scary. I eat as much as I can hoping to "beef" up this baby a little. The menu at the hospital is pretty good. I have a choice between 3 main dishes and their complementary sides. One is usually very good, one is so so, and one is for the desperate. The desserts are always good though.

Sleep: I have good nights and bad nights. Getting and staying comfortable is usually the biggest problem with noise from either side of my room or the hall being the second problem. I'm (somewhat reluctantly) taking ambien each evening and it seems to make a huge difference in how much sleep I get. The doctor wants me to rest well, so I view the medical help as a necessity. I take it. I sleep. I don't take it. I don't

Projects: I'm still working on the blanket for Evan. I'm trying to finish at least 1 or 2 rows each day. I just hope I can finish it before he gets here. I've been reading some too and have almost finished Beth Moore's book, So Long Insecurity. I play scrabble on the computer and spend too much time on the internet.

Coming Up: Peri appointment on Tuesday afternoon.

Medications/Doctor's Orders: Strict bedrest. Procardia-2x/day, pepsid, prenatal vitamin, colace, P17/weekly, ambien, synthroid, miralax when needed, terbutaline (shot) as needed, NST (non-stres test) once each shift unless I start having regular contractions, vital signs at least once or twice per shift.

Contractions: I have started averaging 1-2 an hour with my most irritable days being Mon.-Wed. The other days are hit-and-miss...some days with 1-2/hr and some with very few all day long. Dr. isn't concerned.

Time for Creativity

Since time is something I'm not lacking, I've been working on a new blog layout. The header is complete and uploaded and the background is complete but for some reason it won't load. I'll keep trying but for now you'll just have to look at a mismatched, uncoordinated blog. My apologies.

Edit:

Okay so I was a able to get rid of the old background, but I still can't upload the new one. It's a little ummm....lacking....right now, but it won't always be. :)

Edit 2:

Fixed!

Random Thoughts

Not much going on around here.

I got pretty sick Sunday night with dizziness, nausea and vomiting. We're not sure if it was food poisoning or an infection. All the bloodwork came back negative for infection. IV fluids and zofran was started on Monday and after a very lousy, sicky day I started feeling better. I'm fine now.

I'll be returning to Dr. M's office on the 20th for another ultrasound and cervical check. I'm ready..

Today is an emotional day for some reason. I guess they're expected considering pregnancy and hospital bedrest combined.

Random Thoughts

I was going to post a picture tonight, but when I inserted my SD card in the computer slot it "ate" it! Ugh...frustrating! I hope I can get it out without tearing anything up so I can still the few cute pictures off that card. Oh...the more I think about it the more frustrating it is. Rrrrrr.

I don't have much to talk about really, so here is are some random thoughts as they cross my mind.

I'm 27 weeks today! Hooray! There have been times I really didn't think I'd make it this far, but I'm so grateful to be here and I'm praying for many more weeks.

Today I got to go outside. It was exciting and the sun felt great. It's been 3 weeks since I last felt the sun's warmth. I was a little nervous too because I sure don't want to "mess anything up" and because of that I probably won't go on daily wheelchair outings (even though I have the privilege) but save them for every couple of days. Ryan LOVED it! I could just tell that it was the greatest thing in the world to see his Mommy outside with him for a little while. We went to the Hospital's prayer garden which is a big stone/brick circle with trees surrounding it and benches scattered here and there. Ryan ran round and round the circle then decided I needed to be on the circle so he pushed me to the circle. He had to move me a couple of times saying, "I need to find a place to park," so he *parked* me in different spots.

PT came to visit me yesterday and gave me handout of exercises to do while I'm just laying around. We'll see how that goes. I'm not making any promises.

The food is great here at Mercy as far as hospital food goes, but I'm already getting tired of the rotation of menu items. I haven't had a great appetite the last few days which is good for the hips but not so good for plumping up my little baby.

I've resigned myself to taking something to help me sleep each night. Part of it is because of all the extra/unfamiliar noises. The most disturbing so far has been the couple in the next room who tend to fight until the wee hours of the morning. My heart breaks for their unborn baby. I can't imagine being in the hospital having complications with a pregnancy and spending hours fighting/cursing at the people around me. Oh my.

I'm still working on Evan's blanket. I wish someone would finish it for me. :)

Ryan actually called Evan "Baby Evan" (pronounced more like Edan) the other day. It was a cute and sad all at the same time.

Ryan has reduced the amount of "beatings" he gives Baby Evan and has replaced the belly smacks with super sweet kisses...for the most part.

Getting There

Every day that passes I'm getting closer to the day we can have a healthy delivery of a healthy baby boy. Today marks 2 weeks on strict hospital bedrest and I'm now 26+4 weeks pregnant! Hooray! It feels so good to just be this far. I can actually breathe a little. Of course I want to make it so much further. I would love to actually get to take my son home with me this time. I've never had the experience of being wheeled out of the hospital with a baby in my arms. I've always had to leave in tears with my babies tucked into the "arms" of an incubator.

We had an ultrasound yesterday. Everything went great! Evan is looking great. He isn't as big as I was hoping, but he's actually right on target for his gestational age. I was hoping he would measure just a little bit bigger (closer to 2 pounds) for his gestational age in the event of an early delivery, but as long as he's healthy that's really all that matters. He weighs approx. 1 pound 12 ounces. He shared lots of cute facial expressions with us..."kissing", yawning, sucking his thumb, smiling. He was so cute. Hospital bedrest is helping...my cx measurement has improved from 0.5 to 1.7. Still considered short, but so much better. Goal #1: 30 weeks! and at this point I really think we can make it. Woohoo!

My OB was pleased with the results and for the first time in two weeks he talked about the possibility of making it to term or very near. Previously he's only talked in "day at a time" terms. He actually said that if I'm still pregnant (and no further complications arise) he will send me home at 32 weeks. I have mixed emotions about that, but I'll take it. Part of me would rather stay until 34/36 weeks, but I'll go with whatever he feels is best.

Pictures

Enjoy these 2 pictures tonight and I'll talk more about them tomorrow.


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Happy Easter

Happy Easter! Yesterday Ryan and Daddy had an Easter Egg Hunt in our backyard. I think they both enjoyed it.





Today two of my favorite people came to see me in the hospital. I really enjoyed spending a couple of hours with Wade and Ryan. Ryan and I watched cartoons on the computer and colored some online pages. It was fun. Overall, for being in the hospital, it was a good Easter for me.

Prior to my boys arriving I was able to spend a good deal of time in prayer and reflection. I hope that today, on this Resurrection Day...the day we remember how much God truly loves us...love us enough to send his son Jesus to rescue us, perfect us, renew us, save us...I hope you were able to spend some time in reflection and praise.

We're starting a brand new week. I have several things on my "to do" list. You're probably wondering how in the world I could have a "to do" list while on bedrest. I wonder that too, but I do. To do: call in Progesterone prescription, call Ryan's pediatrician and visit about a 3-year-old well-child check and discuss baby Evan too, call Dr. M's office (peri) to schedule an ultrasound/cervical check, and...oh...probably a couple other things I can't remember right now.

More later....

Much love,
Julie

My Boy

Strawberries 'N Cream

Ryan loves strawberries! He has since he started eating real food. They used to be called deedledees. Now they are just plain old strawbetties. But however you say it he won't turn them down (usually). He just recently learned that strawberries n' cream is pretty good too. The cream was "gross" until one day I had a temporary lack of judgment and insisted he "try" some cream on his strawberry. Oooops...that's all it took. Now there's less for me :(.

On this particular day, the day before I was "institutionalized", we had some fun laying outside eating our healthy snack. When there were only 3 or 4 strawberries left Nana asked Ryan to pick one out for his Momma. Ryan thought hard. Then...he graciously chose the half-eaten one in his sticky little finger placing it gently in my mouth and snatching up the remaining berries in the bowl!





I've been trying to eat as much fruit as possible while here in the hospital. It's a good snack...and...my OB said studies have shown a correlation between eating fruit and strengthening the amniotic sac. So when he said eat lots of fruit I happily obliged. I'll do most anything to keep Evan inside. Right now (from what I understand) the biggest risks are 1) going into labor/contractions and/or 2) rupturing membranes.

Other interesting facts I've been enlightened with recently.

• The steroid shots I was given upon admission to help strengthen/develop Evan's lungs are also shown to help with lots of other "preemie issues" such as reducing risks of brain bleeds and NEC. That's awesome! (Thanks Angie for that information) I still don't want another preemie though. It's a whole lot scarier to stand by your baby's bedside worrying about all the things that are/could be going wrong at any given moment in a preemie's life than it is difficult to lay in bed 24/7. There's just no comparison.
• Statistically speaking...for every day a baby stays inside his/her Mommy it takes off 2 days of a NICU stay. That being the case, Evan has stayed safely tucked inside an extra 8 days and has avoided 16 days in the NICU.
  

Week 1

Week 1...Hooray we've made it 1 week! Everything is going well. Ryan is doing great, and as I said before, he's adjusting well. He still has his moments when nothing satisfies/soothes him other than a visit to his Mommy. Yesterday he and Nana went to the zoo and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. A bird landed on his head! I can't wait to take him to the zoo myself! I expect today they are going to do some gardening.

Evan is doing great. I think he must be growing because my belly just rolls all over the place. He's very active. He is looking good with each monitoring and so far he's been *cooperative* in all but one monitoring session. For that one he just wouldn't stay still, but the nurse returned about an hour later and...success. Evan will be 26 weeks gestation on Saturday!

I'm feeling well. This week has passed fairly quickly which I guess is good considering laying in bed can make time drag by at times. I'm still crocheting a blanket for Evan. I try to do at least one row a day. I figure if I make it 10 weeks that will add 70 more rows making the blanket a perfect size for our new baby boy. I watch TV, listen to music, and watch movies. I'm trying to develop a routine for each day. I'm allowed up and out of bed to visit the bathroom and I have showering privileges too. I take advantage of that privilege every other day. Laying in this hospital bed hasn't been that bad. I am staying pretty comfortable. I've only had one day so far where my back was aching. The only big complaint I have is heartburn. It has gotten sooooo much worse. On the bright side...if there's any truth to heartburn and hairy babies then Evan won't be lacking. Today I was started on Pepcid twice a day. I'm glad. The heartburn is the worst at night, so if I can have relief at night I'll sleep better.

As far as medications...I'm taking Procardia 2 times a day, antibiotics, and more antibiotics, colace, Synthroid, Ambien at night and now Pepcid. I have an ongoing order for Brethine in the event I start having contractions. Thankfully that hasn't been an issue.

I guess that's about all for now. Everyone, Wade, Ryan, Nana and the rest of the family is adjusting to our new situation and challenges. I won't say it's easy on anyone, but it's amazing how in the time of need God equips you with everything you need.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your prayers, visits, phone calls and well-wishes. God is good! Keep praying. We're still hoping and praying for another 10 weeks so we can deliver a healthy baby boy and take him home with us!

Julie

One Cute Little 3-Yr-Old

Yep! He's pretty cute.

I have more pictures to upload from our last day of freedom together, but I'll spread them out over several days since I won't be taking pictures for awhile. :)

As a short update...everything is going well. No changes. Ryan is adjusting well. I think he's learning that everything is still okay and Mommy is still here and is okay. He still asks for his Mommy but is crying less. He likes to come see me but he is now able to leave contented and satisfied with his ornery little smile.

More later...when I'm in a better position to type.

All About Yesterday...and Today

Boy yesterday sure was a life changing day. It's hard for me to know where to start because of everything, but I guess I'll just start from the beginning.

I had a scheduled appointment with Dr. M yesterday. He's the Perinatologist and is in charge of monitoring the growth of our little boy and the growth of my cervix which, as you recall, has unfortunately been on a shortening trend. The appointment was scheduled at 8:20 and we arrived early...very early, but on the bright side we were called back to the exam room very early too. I was excited and hoping that everything would be quick and painless so Ryan, Nana and I could then enjoy a small bite to eat...breakfast...my favorite meal of the day.

Alas, things didn't go as planned.

Evan's ultrasound was first. He is looking great, weighing about 1 pound 9 ounces +/- and is doing everything he is supposed to be doing. His measurements continually bring up a due date of July 10th, so I asked the tech about it. She said according to her records they are calculating the due date for July 10th which means I'm actually a little farther along than we first thought. It's not that significant, but at this point I want to take credit for every single day. You'll notice I've already changed the ticker on the side of the blog to reflect that I am not only 24 weeks, but quickly approaching 25 weeks. 24 weeks 5 days!

Now for the rest of the story. After the ultrasound I was administered an ffn test again, and not to be too graphic but it basically involves a very long q-tip placed very near the cervix. The collection is then sent to the lab and based on the results it is a fairly accurate test as to whether labor is likely to happen within 2 weeks. My results came back negative. That's great. (There are more false positives than false negatives). After my test my cervix was measured using another relatively invasive instrument that I have become more familiar with with this pregnancy than I ever thought I would. The ultrasound reading was, in a two word summary, rather scary. Two weeks ago my measurement was 1.3 cm. Yesterday it was 0.5 cm with funneling through the stitch. Basically the picture showed my amniotic sac starting to slip past the stitch, but I still have some cervix, 0.5cm worth, left closed at the exit...or entrance...depending on how you want to think about it.

Then we waited...

And waited...

And waited...

Finally I had this ingenious idea that if I'd just get up to go to the bathroom that would ensure the doctor would make his entrance. And...it worked...but since I was in the bathroom he quickly said he'd return and went about making more rounds (like he should have...but I promise I was almost through...I would have stopped mid-stream had I known my great idea would have backfired.)

So we waited...

and waited...

and waited some more.

Finally Dr. M came back and checked my cervix saying it "felt" better than it looked, but because I'd had such a change he wanted to go ahead with the steroid shots to boost Evan's lung development...just in case. He ordered the first dose to be given in the office with instructions that I'd need to come back the following day. That's when my jaw must have hit the ground. I asked him, somewhat accusingly, "You're not putting me in the hospital?" As you may also recall he said two weeks ago that continued shortening was one of my certainties for a one-way ticket. Not that I wanted to go to the hospital...but come on! He's a little more conservative, but I trust his judgment, but on the other hand he really doesn't know my history other than what's in my chart. So I basically wouldn't take no for an answer and he agreed that if I felt better I could go to the hospital for 48-hr monitoring. Now don't get me wrong, going to the hospital hasn't been something I've secretly been hoping for. I've spent enough time laying in a hospital bed or standing by my babies' beds to last me a lifetime, but considering my history and the fact that things aren't going as planned and progressing towards the wrong direction a little quicker than we anticipated I most definitely felt the hospital was a safer place. So did everyone else.

So the nurse came in and gave me the first round of steroid shots for Evan's lungs. In case you're wondering...it stings! Then I was sent to another room to wait on a wheelchair to be wheeled to the hospital for admittance. Ryan and Nana went to the cafeteria to get a bite to eat and bring me something too. Ryan was being such a good boy, but for a 3-year-old to sit and wait for what was now approaching 3 hours, his patience was running low.

I was wheeled to the hospital. I was admitted under Dr. G's (OB) care and he is now "calling the shots". I was admitted with instructions to be put in trendelenberg (head-down), absolutely no getting out of bed, bedpan only, continuous IV fluids, several antibiotics to be given over the next several days, my regular meds (thyroid, procardia, etc.), and regular fetal/contraction monitoring. I was administered a beta-strep test (much like the ffn test...you know the q-tip thing again), put on a monitor, signed my life away with all the papers for me and baby, an IV started (in a most horrible place I might add...my right hand), and dropped into trendelenberg.

All was going well...until.....................

My bladder started acting up. I guess I have a "shy" bladder because it and the bedpan just never really hit it off. Their relationship was...um...somewhat...hindered. I could go a little and then all would stop. After hours of partial relief only my bladder reached it's maximum capacity and began to complain...excruciating pain! I finally began begging for a catheter and the nurse called the doctor. I was given toilet privileges! Awww...relief...sort of. It was so irritable that it felt like the worst bladder infection ever! I was started on peridium (sp?) to relieve the pain. So...now...I have toileting privileges, relief, pain meds, orange peepee, and I feel like a real person again. Now they're pumping me so full of fluids so fast that I have to get up to "go" every 2 hours. I still wonder if a catheter might be better...but oh well. I know there's greater risks of infections with a catheter. For now I'll just try to keep my "trips" as short and sweet as possible.

And now for today...

Today has been good. I slept well last night and the day has been uneventful in a good sense.

Dr. G. said I'm here "for a long time". I take that as indication that I won't be leaving until Evan makes his grand arrival. We're still desperately hoping and praying for at least 10 weeks. 6 at the very, very least. Dr. G did share several stories with me about women successfully staying pregnant until term or very near term with just the stitch holding things in. My IV was moved to my mid-arm on the left side which is much more comfortable. I was given those lovely little leg balloons to help reduce the risk of blood clots. I actually like them. I was released from trendelenberg position to flat position, so I'm staying flat all the time except to potty and eat a quick bite to eat. Today I watched a movie, Julie and Julia. It was good.

I've had several visitors today which was a much-needed, welcome blessing. The biggest blessing was seeing my little boy this morning. Ryan came in with a great big smile saying, "Hi Momma!" with all the enthusiasm he could find. It was great. He sat on my bed and enjoyed the "balloon bed" (it inflates and deflates). He asked lots of questions about all of the different sounds. He sat in the window and watched the cars and helicopter. He helped me eat my lunch. We colored and talked. And then they left....:( Nana said when they got to the lobby he stopped and started crying...saying, "but where's my Momma?" Being away from my little boy is the hardest thing for me right now. I'm trying to stay as calm as possible so I don't stir things up with my other little boy, but...this is soooo hard. I can't seem to hold it together tonight. The tears keep coming. I love you Ryan! I'll come home again...I promise!

Okay...that's all for now.

New Residence

I am now a full-time resident of Mercy Hospital. It'll most likely be until this little guy makes his grand entrance. I'll give more details tomorrow...I'm tired tonight.

Please keep praying.

Beautiful Day!

Today was such a wonderful day. For lunch Ryan, Nana and I had a picnic in the backyard. On the menu: spaghetti. We sat (I layed flat on a lounge chair) under the sun. The breeze was light and the snow was beautiful. Yes...I said snow. There wasn't much left by the end of the day, but during our noon-time picnic we ate spaghetti, basked in the sunshine, and Ryan played in the snow. It was great. To top it off tonight my sweet husband surprised me with an extra special treat...if you'll remember from the last post...salad followed by carrot cake. Awwww....can't get much better than that!

Weekly Update

Weeks Pregnant: 23 weeks 4 days

Weeks to Go: 6 weeks 3 days till 30 weeks, 8 weeks 3 days till 32 weeks, 10 weeks 3 days till 34 weeks, 12 weeks 3 days till my ultimate goal of 36 weeks, 15 weeks 3 days till the farthest I'm allowed to go, 39 weeks.

Gender: Boy...Evan Alexander Stanfill

Baby Statistics: We haven't been to the Perinatologist in a couple weeks, so I don't have any accurate measurements. However, with our last ultrasound Evan was measuring right at 1 pound and on target for exactly 22 weeks.

Movement: He's been pretty quiet the last few days

Momma's Ever-Changing Body: At my OB appointment last week I showed a 1/2 pound weight loss, so that puts my weight gain right at 14 pounds +/- 1/2 a pound. I'm still round in the middle :) I'm losing some muscle tone because of bedrest, but that's to be expected. I've read that it can take up to 6 months to a year for a bedrest mommy to fully re-gain her strength, muscle tone and energy.

Belly Button/Stretch Marks: Flatty and...yes...no you can't see either!

Food Cravings: No cravings this week...no aversions either. Although as I write this, a great big salad and a piece of carrot cake with cream cheese icing for dessert sounds pretty good.

Sleep: I find that if I sleep in the right bed I can sleep great. The "right" bed lately has been the twin bed in Ryan's room, but I don't want him getting used to me sleeping in there all the time.

Projects: I'm still working on the blanket for Evan. Crocheting while laying flat isn't as comfortable as when sitting up, so I can only work on it for a few minutes before my arms start hurting. I just hope I can finish it before he gets here. I'm also working on a couple of pacifier holders for a couple of friends. A new little boy was recently born and is in Mercy's NICU. Please pray for little Blake. He was born at about 30 weeks weighing 2 lb 15 oz. I haven't heard lately how he's doing, but last I knew he was doing okay.

Coming Up: I have a doctor's appointment with the Perinatologist on Wednesday morning. I'll also be at 24 weeks on Wednesday...medically speaking that's considered the point of viability. It's actually a pretty big milestone.

Medications/Doctor's Orders: Strict bedrest. I just started taking Procardia and Brethine for contractions. The Procardia is a blood pressure medicine that is often prescribed in pregnancy, but I'm uncertain as to how it works. All I know is that it lowers my blood pressure and I already have fairly low BP so I have to be careful when getting up. I had a pretty bad headache with it the first day, but the side effects have faded away now. The brethine makes my heart race, but that's not a big deal for me. With all of the different asthma meds I've taken through the year I've encountered that side effect off and on numerous times.

Contractions: I have one or two every now and then, but they really seem much less since I've started the meds.

Meds and More

I had an appointment with my OB yesterday. Everything went pretty well. After discussing my concerns with the nurse about the shortened cervix, contractions, etc. I was sent over to L&D for monitoring and an ffn test. I didn't have any contractions on the monitor and the ffn test came back negative so I was sent home. That's good. I'm not quite ready to take up residence in the hospital. I figure it is a pretty good probability at some point, but I'm not ready yet.

Today I got a call from the nurse. Dr. G wants to start me on Procardia and Brethine. That's somewhat of a relief to me. I didn't have any contractions yesterday, but I've had several throughout the day today, so maybe with these meds on board the contractions will be more or less a thing of the past...at least until it's time for this baby to arrive. Since we're still staying with my mom during the day I missed the phone call from the doctor's office, so I'll have to call tomorrow and relay the information they need so I can get the prescriptions filled. I'm hoping all this falls into place easily tomorrow so I can get the prescriptions filled by the end of the day.

Today marks 23 weeks for me!

22 Weeks 4 Days

Weeks Pregnant: 22 weeks 4 days

Weeks to Go: My goals have changed some after this past weeks events: 7 weeks 3 days till 30 weeks, 9 weeks 3 days till 32 weeks, 11 weeks 3 days till 34 weeks, 13 weeks 3 days till my ultimate goal of 36 weeks, 16 weeks 3 days till the farthest I'm allowed to go, 39 weeks.

Gender: Boy...Evan Alexander Stanfill

Baby Statistics: Evan is measuring right at 1 pound and on target for exactly 22 weeks. It seems he might be a little smaller than Ryan was at this time. Ryan weighed 1 pound 8 ounces at birth, 23w 5d. I don't see Evan gaining half a pound in less than 2 weeks time, but then again ultrasounds are only an estimate and can be off by up to a pound either way. Regardless, I don't have any intentions of discovering his actual weight until much later. He's still hanging out very low.

Movement: He's a wild one! He's been really active over the last few days.

Momma's Ever-Changing Body: I'm not feeling the greatest tonight. I think I picked up a little of the stomach bug. Thankfully I haven't had to hug the toilet any, but I've still spent plenty of time in there. I sure hope the pukes stay far away from me. It scares me to think of all the pressure required for that act. I'm still adjusting to strict bedrest and moving from a reclined position to a flat position...head down, hips elevated as much as possible. My back is protesting the change more than anything else. Pillows are my best friends right now. Positions please. Positions Please! Heartburn has become a new and persistent visitor since I've been flat. Again...I'll take it all! Sorry for the complaints this evening though.

Belly Button/Stretch Marks: Normally it's an innie, but it's more like a "flatty". Stretch marks--yep! Got 'em!

Food Cravings: For some reason this week I have really craved Puppy Chow. And I don't mean the dog food. You know...the cereal covered in chocolate and peanut butter sprinkled with powdered sugar. Thankfully my sister came through for me and I've been enjoying the delectable snack off and on throughout the day. Until I started feeling a little sick. :(

Sleep: I haven't been sleeping very well for several nights.

Projects: I'm still working on the blanket for Evan. I've finished my first skein of yarn and will be starting my second tomorrow. I'm hoping that 4 skeins will make the blanket the perfect size.

Coming Up: I have a doctor's appointment with my OB on Tuesday morning. Unfortunately he is not going to be there, but I already warned the nurse I was coming with a load of questions. I'm fairly confident that if she can't answer them she'll contact the doc asap for the answers. I'll be having my glucose tolerance test and other blood work. Other than that it's just a general check-up.

Medications/Doctor's Orders: I'm on bedrest...just graduated from modified to strict this week. I'm quite certain I'll be on bedrest until I deliver or 36 weeks...whichever comes first. I'm taking prenatal vitamins, fiber supplements, and prune juice. I get a shot of progesterone in the hip each week. I'm planning to discuss medications/interventions for contractions with the nurse on Tuesday.

Contractions: I'm averaging 1-2 an hour every day. They seem to be less since I've starting laying down all the time. Some days are better than others.

Resting

This post is a few days overdue, but our internet croaked and the stomach bug came intruding into our home...but I'll get to that in a minute.

I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm resting a little more peacefully now. My stress level has gone down and I'm not feeling nearly as overwhelmed. Adjusting to strict bedrest from modified has been a bit of an adjustment for everyone. I guess I didn't realize how much of a difference there is. On modified bedrest I was allowed to get up to eat at the table, sit reclined on the couch and even take the occasional outing to a restaurant or even Wal-Mart just as long as I stayed off my feet (sitting at a table or in a wheelchair, etc.) It's completely different to lay flat all the time only getting up to go to the bathroom and incline a little eat (so I don't choke. No one wants the headline: Baby's fine! Mom chokes! hahahaha). As much as possible I'm also trying to lay head down/hips elevated to keep as much pressure off my cervix as possible.

The family is adjusting well. Daddy has really picked up the pace with helping/doing everything while we're at home. He scolds me quite often if he sees me up! Ryan has adjusted well too...much better than I first expected. I originally hoped that if I ever got put on strict bedrest I'd be admitted to the hospital at the same time. I just didn't see how it could possibly work at home with a 3 year old....a five letter word comes to mind...STRESS...and too much of it. Ryan has done so well though. He still requests my help, but he doesn't have a meltdown when I can't help and send him off to his daddy or Nana for assistance. He loves to get on the bed with me and play/snuggle/tell stories. He also has a new fascination with pulling my shirt up and beating "Baby Elmo" or driving his cars up and down my tummy. Nana is also doing well with the adjustment. Now that the weather is starting to warm up she and Ryan can go outside more which is sooooo much easier. Ryan loves the outdoors and it's amazing how just going outside for an hour can completely change his perspective on things. Nana, Papa and Ryan have recently started raising a new brood of baby chickens, so Ryan loves to go see the baby chickens and play at Papa's house.

While the news from the past week was quite a shock I've had time to think and relax some. I won't say that we aren't "out of the woods". The reality is that we could still be dealing with a preemie again if things continue in the same direction. The doctor was not overly concerned and we shouldn't be either. I had another mom offer encouragement...2 of her kids were held in only by the stitch...nearly to term. Another mom I know personally had a cervical measurement at or below 1 for 10 weeks and delivered at 36 weeks. It's not critical and we're not in any imminent danger of delivering within a week or two, but it is a BIG concern and I'm viewing it as we've just started the fight. We were coasting before...now we're fighting. I/we/the doctors now must do everything possible and be proactive in keeping our sweet baby inside for as long as possible. And that's what we're doing.

My goals have been reorganized through all this. I originally only considered it a success if we made it to 36 weeks. That was/is what I really wanted to get to...my ultimate goal. Now my goals are a little more what I'd call *realistic*. Right now my heart is set on 30 weeks. Only 8 weeks away. Preemie...yes. Dangerous still...yes. Odds...very good. Safe...pretty much. 32 weeks would be awesome. 34 weeks would be amazing. That's when the doctor would stop trying to prevent labor if it started. 36 weeks...INCREDIBLE! What's great is it could happen! Any of these...they could happen! God is always in control! I choose to rest in His Will.

I have an OB appointment on Tuesday. My list of concerns and questions is growing by the day. Like I mentioned before I was coasting. Now I'm fighting! I just hope everyone will be patient and understanding with me. One of my big concerns is the contractions and whether they are exacerbating the problem. The contractions are less (on average) now that I'm flat, but I still have some and some days are worse than others. I just want to make sure we are doing EVERYTHING possible to give this baby a fighting chance...INSIDE HIS MOMMY!

Now for the stomach bug. Ryan started puking yesterday afternoon. It was awful. He's never had a stomach illness and to see him heaving and puking and heaving and crying was heart breaking. He didn't understand at all. He kept saying, "I sick." "It's yucky." "Time to go doctor." "My tummy hurts." "My body hurts." He puked pretty much non-stop until sometime in the middle of the night. He couldn't keep anything down. This morning he woke up and seems much better. His stools were very runny for a little while this morning, but that has lessened too. I sure hope he's over it. It was hard on the little guy. It was hard on his mommy.

Quick Update

I had a Peri. appointment today. It didn't go so well. (This is a bit scattered in thought...I'm still trying to absorb all of the info from today.)

First...the good news...Evan is looking great. He is measuring right on for my due date. His heart looks great with no anomalies...hooray! He is measuring 22w0d with an estimated weight of 1 pound. We got more good pictures and ultrasound video, so I'll try to get those ready to post as soon as I can.

But...the bad news. My cervix dramatically shortened from 3.3 to 1.3 in just 2 weeks. That's not what I wanted nor expected to hear. There's not much more I can do to reduce my activity other than laying flat in bed all day long which I will now be doing. Potty breaks only.

Now I'm scared. This is almost exactly when everything started going south with Ryan (22w3d is when I went to the hospital and I delivered 10 days later). This isn't as critical, in fact it's quite different, but it's just too close to the familiar. My cerclage is still doing it's job and holding my cervix shut which is the most critical thing right now. I'm still having contractions, but what if I'm having more contractions than what I'm feeling? If they are possibly causing more problems I wish the doctor would put me on something to control them altogether. I most definitely will be discussing this and many other things with my OB. In fact I might even call the office tomorrow. (The Peri. is monitoring, but my OB is calling the shots.)

The dr. said we will start ffn testing and swab testing starting with my next appt. in 2 weeks. 2 weeks seems like so long. He said I'll be hospitalized if my cervix continues to shorten, if I have a positive ffn, if I start contracting more than 4 an hour or if my water breaks. As he was leaving he told me "not to worry...we'll take this one step at a time." Yeah...thanks doc. too late for that. After he left I sat and cried for a few minutes...tears of frustration...tears of fear for my baby boy...tears for the unknown.

So here I am...I've "graduated" from modified bedrest to strict...and I'm scared.

Please pray. It terrifies me to even think of having another preemie anywhere close to the gestation as Ryan. Everything is sooooo scary with a preemie. I'd 100 times rather be on bedrest, strapped in a hospital bed incubating my baby than to watch and worry about brain bleeds, apnea, heart stopping, eye problems, oxygen problems and so much more as my baby incubates in a plastic box.

Please pray we can have at least 10 more weeks with Evan safely tucked inside his Mommy's tummy. Please.

May the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 1 Peter 5:10