Thoughts About Bedrest and Q&A

The question has been asked: "How is everyone handling Mommy being on bedrest?"
The answer: It depends on the day!

For the most part everyone is doing very well with everything. I think Daddy is getting used to the changes although (in my opinion) he has struggled with it the most. It's a difficult change in life to go from a parent in a supporting role to one that is the primary caretaker. It's even harder for me to relinquish all of those responsibilities and privileges. As parents we, Mommy and Daddy, are beginning to adjust to the changes and are settling into our new (temporary) roles. I think it's safe to say that Daddy is more than ready for things to go back to just the way they were.

Ryan is doing great. I can tell that the changes in our family life has been difficult on him, but he, too, is beginning to adjust and settle in with our new routine. I'm glad he's settling in and accepting the changes, but I'll be glad when things are back to a new normal for him. Bedrest has brought about some changes that I don't care for and I hope can be undone when "Baby Elmo" arrives (no that's not his name...Ryan started calling him that and it just stuck.). I won't go into too many details because for now they are what they are. They can't be changed, so we'll make the best of everything!

Anyway...

Ryan does very well when I'm laying horizontal and not so much when I'm reclined in a chair. I haven't figured out the difference, but when I'm horizontal he just comes and joins me on the bed, bearing toys, stories, books, movies, hugs, kisses and sometimes a need to climb on me. I lay on my side mostly so for now his need to climb isn't troubling. I've learned to guard my middle quite well. When I recline in a chair he thinks he needs to climb all over me all the time...top to bottom, side to side. I can't guard myself as well and he doesn't understand when I tell him to stay down. Ryan doesn't mind if I work on something else like knitting, reading, writing, etc. when I'm laying on the bed. He can't stand it when I'm reclined in the chair.

Ryan and I try to do as much stuff together as possible. We read books, play with cars, watch movies, talk about everything we see on TV or around us. Yesterday we even played with scissors, construction paper, and crayons. We made a chain to count down the weeks until we meet Baby Elmo. You know the chains...kids make them in school all the time to countdown until Christmas. Our chain is multi-colored and has 21 links...that's how many more weeks we hope to keep Baby Elmo inside Mommy's tummy. We get to take a link off every Wednesday because that's when my new week starts in relation to this pregnancy.

Ryan loves to go to Nana's house. We are still spending the weekdays with Nana (my mom) and occasionally we spend the night too. Nana is a huge help and Ryan feels quite safe and comfortable with Nana. I have no worries when those two are together other than "will he get enough rest today?" and "he really doesn't need anymore sweet/sugary treats." But those are pretty minor and not worth a whole lot of concern. I think Nana is handling things well. Occasionally she says things that make me think she is getting worn out and tired of "all this" which makes me sad and concerned. At other times she expresses that she will feel "lost" when we're no longer needing her like we do now. I guess it's a good and bad situation for her...she loves feeling needed and I think it's been a long time since she's really felt needed, but at the same time I think all the extra activity and responsibility is a strain. She's taking great care of us and I just love my mom to pieces.

Bedrest isn't easy. I miss being primary caretaker. I miss being the primary decision maker. I miss cooking for my family. I actually miss cleaning my house. I don't miss doing laundry, but I miss having the clothes clean so I can wear just exactly what I want to wear when I want to wear it. I miss living in my own home. It's hard to move back home and relinquish most of my parental rights/responsibilities. I don't miss changing poopy diapers but I do miss giving Ryan his bath and getting him dressed and ready for the day/night. I miss taking pictures, but I'm hoping to learn a lot about photography and my new camera so I can take some awesome pictures when I'm able. I miss going places, doing things, and seeing people. I often think about what I'm missing with Ryan...but then again...

Bedrest has an awful lot of blessings too. I love that Ryan will sit on the bed with me and we play. We snuggle. We talk. We read. We do so very much that otherwise I might find myself too busy to do...unless I planned for it. I love when he lays across my side. I love when he buries his face into mine and gives "hugs and loves". I love his open mouth kisses that he only shares with me while I'm laying down. I love the games we play and the giggles we share. I love his sense of humor. He's my #1 entertainer. I love his laughter. I love his stories. We do so much more together, truly one-on-one, him-and-I than we did before. It has really made me think about life, and parenting, and slowing down and taking opportunities and joy and true happiness and God and not missing what's most important...all because life has a tendency to get too busy and too chaotic and too selfish.

And there you have it...some thoughts on bedrest. There's probably more to come later...