All About Yesterday...and Today

Boy yesterday sure was a life changing day. It's hard for me to know where to start because of everything, but I guess I'll just start from the beginning.

I had a scheduled appointment with Dr. M yesterday. He's the Perinatologist and is in charge of monitoring the growth of our little boy and the growth of my cervix which, as you recall, has unfortunately been on a shortening trend. The appointment was scheduled at 8:20 and we arrived early...very early, but on the bright side we were called back to the exam room very early too. I was excited and hoping that everything would be quick and painless so Ryan, Nana and I could then enjoy a small bite to eat...breakfast...my favorite meal of the day.

Alas, things didn't go as planned.

Evan's ultrasound was first. He is looking great, weighing about 1 pound 9 ounces +/- and is doing everything he is supposed to be doing. His measurements continually bring up a due date of July 10th, so I asked the tech about it. She said according to her records they are calculating the due date for July 10th which means I'm actually a little farther along than we first thought. It's not that significant, but at this point I want to take credit for every single day. You'll notice I've already changed the ticker on the side of the blog to reflect that I am not only 24 weeks, but quickly approaching 25 weeks. 24 weeks 5 days!

Now for the rest of the story. After the ultrasound I was administered an ffn test again, and not to be too graphic but it basically involves a very long q-tip placed very near the cervix. The collection is then sent to the lab and based on the results it is a fairly accurate test as to whether labor is likely to happen within 2 weeks. My results came back negative. That's great. (There are more false positives than false negatives). After my test my cervix was measured using another relatively invasive instrument that I have become more familiar with with this pregnancy than I ever thought I would. The ultrasound reading was, in a two word summary, rather scary. Two weeks ago my measurement was 1.3 cm. Yesterday it was 0.5 cm with funneling through the stitch. Basically the picture showed my amniotic sac starting to slip past the stitch, but I still have some cervix, 0.5cm worth, left closed at the exit...or entrance...depending on how you want to think about it.

Then we waited...

And waited...

And waited...

Finally I had this ingenious idea that if I'd just get up to go to the bathroom that would ensure the doctor would make his entrance. And...it worked...but since I was in the bathroom he quickly said he'd return and went about making more rounds (like he should have...but I promise I was almost through...I would have stopped mid-stream had I known my great idea would have backfired.)

So we waited...

and waited...

and waited some more.

Finally Dr. M came back and checked my cervix saying it "felt" better than it looked, but because I'd had such a change he wanted to go ahead with the steroid shots to boost Evan's lung development...just in case. He ordered the first dose to be given in the office with instructions that I'd need to come back the following day. That's when my jaw must have hit the ground. I asked him, somewhat accusingly, "You're not putting me in the hospital?" As you may also recall he said two weeks ago that continued shortening was one of my certainties for a one-way ticket. Not that I wanted to go to the hospital...but come on! He's a little more conservative, but I trust his judgment, but on the other hand he really doesn't know my history other than what's in my chart. So I basically wouldn't take no for an answer and he agreed that if I felt better I could go to the hospital for 48-hr monitoring. Now don't get me wrong, going to the hospital hasn't been something I've secretly been hoping for. I've spent enough time laying in a hospital bed or standing by my babies' beds to last me a lifetime, but considering my history and the fact that things aren't going as planned and progressing towards the wrong direction a little quicker than we anticipated I most definitely felt the hospital was a safer place. So did everyone else.

So the nurse came in and gave me the first round of steroid shots for Evan's lungs. In case you're wondering...it stings! Then I was sent to another room to wait on a wheelchair to be wheeled to the hospital for admittance. Ryan and Nana went to the cafeteria to get a bite to eat and bring me something too. Ryan was being such a good boy, but for a 3-year-old to sit and wait for what was now approaching 3 hours, his patience was running low.

I was wheeled to the hospital. I was admitted under Dr. G's (OB) care and he is now "calling the shots". I was admitted with instructions to be put in trendelenberg (head-down), absolutely no getting out of bed, bedpan only, continuous IV fluids, several antibiotics to be given over the next several days, my regular meds (thyroid, procardia, etc.), and regular fetal/contraction monitoring. I was administered a beta-strep test (much like the ffn test...you know the q-tip thing again), put on a monitor, signed my life away with all the papers for me and baby, an IV started (in a most horrible place I might add...my right hand), and dropped into trendelenberg.

All was going well...until.....................

My bladder started acting up. I guess I have a "shy" bladder because it and the bedpan just never really hit it off. Their relationship was...um...somewhat...hindered. I could go a little and then all would stop. After hours of partial relief only my bladder reached it's maximum capacity and began to complain...excruciating pain! I finally began begging for a catheter and the nurse called the doctor. I was given toilet privileges! Awww...relief...sort of. It was so irritable that it felt like the worst bladder infection ever! I was started on peridium (sp?) to relieve the pain. So...now...I have toileting privileges, relief, pain meds, orange peepee, and I feel like a real person again. Now they're pumping me so full of fluids so fast that I have to get up to "go" every 2 hours. I still wonder if a catheter might be better...but oh well. I know there's greater risks of infections with a catheter. For now I'll just try to keep my "trips" as short and sweet as possible.

And now for today...

Today has been good. I slept well last night and the day has been uneventful in a good sense.

Dr. G. said I'm here "for a long time". I take that as indication that I won't be leaving until Evan makes his grand arrival. We're still desperately hoping and praying for at least 10 weeks. 6 at the very, very least. Dr. G did share several stories with me about women successfully staying pregnant until term or very near term with just the stitch holding things in. My IV was moved to my mid-arm on the left side which is much more comfortable. I was given those lovely little leg balloons to help reduce the risk of blood clots. I actually like them. I was released from trendelenberg position to flat position, so I'm staying flat all the time except to potty and eat a quick bite to eat. Today I watched a movie, Julie and Julia. It was good.

I've had several visitors today which was a much-needed, welcome blessing. The biggest blessing was seeing my little boy this morning. Ryan came in with a great big smile saying, "Hi Momma!" with all the enthusiasm he could find. It was great. He sat on my bed and enjoyed the "balloon bed" (it inflates and deflates). He asked lots of questions about all of the different sounds. He sat in the window and watched the cars and helicopter. He helped me eat my lunch. We colored and talked. And then they left....:( Nana said when they got to the lobby he stopped and started crying...saying, "but where's my Momma?" Being away from my little boy is the hardest thing for me right now. I'm trying to stay as calm as possible so I don't stir things up with my other little boy, but...this is soooo hard. I can't seem to hold it together tonight. The tears keep coming. I love you Ryan! I'll come home again...I promise!

Okay...that's all for now.